Tag Archives: Writing

The World’s Largest Book (at 5×7 feet)

The book is entitled, Bhutan: A Visual Odyssey Across the Last Himalayan Kingdom and weighs 133 pounds and is more than 5 x 7 feet. It is the largest published book in the world – and can be yours.  Each copy is printed on demand, uses a roll of paper longer than a football field, over a gallon of ink and takes 24 hours to print.  The 114 pages of photos feature life-sized (or bigger) people.

More information here.

It is currently for sale on Amazon at $30,000.  The purchase price is a donation to Friendly Planet . Each copy is numbered and can include a personal dedication message.

The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (Bad Opening Sentences to Imaginary Novels)

Since there has been such an underwhelming response to an earlier post (One Sentence Romance Novels for Those Who Don’t Like to Read Romance Novels), I thought you might not want to read entries in the annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest - named for Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton, who penned the words (that Snoopy stole) “It was a dark and stormy night” to open his novel, Paul Clifford (1830).  The contest is for the best of the bad opening sentences to imaginary novels.

Here is this year’s winner:

Theirs was a New York love, a checkered taxi ride burning rubber, and like the city their passion was open 24/7, steam rising from their bodies like slick streets exhaling warm, moist, white breath through manhole covers stamped “Forged by DeLaney Bros., Piscataway, N.J.”

You can read more here (or not).

One Sentence Romance Novels for Those Who Don’t Like Romance Novels

My wife loves romance novels.  I don’t.  I thought I’d try my hand at writing a one sentence romance novel for those who (like me) don’t really like romance novels.

She was as hot as his Camero after an afternoon drive across the desert and he was as deep as the water he was standing in; together, their love was as beautiful as a bagpipe solo at a wedding.

The touching story above is my entry.  Would you like to try one?  You can use the same cover, or you can find another at Longmire does Romance Novels.

Let’s see what you’ve got.

Funny Metaphors from High School Essays

Original post: I found some metaphors that could prove helpful to an aspiring writer.  These were actually used in essays by high schoolers this past year.  High School English teachers collect these each year and publish them.  I found last year’s list at: http://help.com/post/124066-funny-metaphors-used-in-high-school

What I have since found (8.11.08): These were really submitted to a contest run by the Washington Post back in 1999.  Sorry for the initial inaccuracy.

Here are a few of my favorites:

  • She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room temperature Canadian beef.
  • Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
  • He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
  • Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
  • Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36pm traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 pm at a speed of 35 mph.
  • The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil.  But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

The Ten Greatest Books: A List

Like I’ve said before, I’m a sucker for book lists.  Although the book, The Top Ten: Writers pick their Favorite Books, edited by J. Peder Zane, has been out for some time, I just discovered it (I know, I’m a bit slow).  This book does just what the title says it will, compiling the favorite books of 125 authors from around the world.  The book includes summaries of 544 books – each thought to be a top ten by at least one of the authors.

What do you think are the ten greatest books of all time?  What would the list look like if it was compiled from the top ten choices of over one hundred of the top authors in the world?

Lev Grossman, in Time (Jan. 15, 2007), states, “…literary lists are basically an obscenity… Take it from me, a critic who has committed this particular sin many times over.”  It’s a fun read: http://www.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1578073,00.html

I say, let’s see their top ten (compiled from their individual lists): 

  1. Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
  2. Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
  3. War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy
  4. Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
  5. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
  6. Hamlet by William Shakespeare
  7. The Great Gatsby F. Scott Fitzgerald
  8. In Search of Lost Time by Marcel Proust
  9. The Stories of Anton Chekhov by Anton Chekhov
  10. Middlemarch by George Eliot

So, there you go.  What’s your top ten (or is it obscene to ask?)?