Funny Metaphors from High School Essays

Original post: I found some metaphors that could prove helpful to an aspiring writer.  These were actually used in essays by high schoolers this past year.  High School English teachers collect these each year and publish them.  I found last year’s list at: http://help.com/post/124066-funny-metaphors-used-in-high-school

What I have since found (8.11.08): These were really submitted to a contest run by the Washington Post back in 1999.  Sorry for the initial inaccuracy.

Here are a few of my favorites:

  • She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room temperature Canadian beef.
  • Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
  • He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
  • Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
  • Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36pm traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 pm at a speed of 35 mph.
  • The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil.  But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
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2 responses to “Funny Metaphors from High School Essays

  1. Thank you for the book recommendation. I’ve not come across it, but in the UK, unless you can track down an independent bookstore, or keep up with the press reviews, it’s easy for books like this to be missed.

    (It’s been an interesting day, trying to express more patience . On reflection, I definitely bristled less.)

    Perhaps I should say that when I got to your site earlier, i.e. when I left the comment, I also followed your link to these metaphors. I work with women whose education has been interrupted, and we’ve recently been exploring metaphors, so I’ve saved these to share. Thanks again.

    These sites might also prove helpful in your work:
    http://confidentwriting.com/
    http://www.grammar-guy.com/
    http://www.bristol.ac.uk/arts/skills/grammar/grammar_tutorial/page_41.htm

    The first site’s most recent article is on metaphors!
    Thanks again for the visit.

  2. Great post, it was very informative. I think its a must read.
    http://www.customwrittenpapers.com/

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