To honor all the kids returning to school from summer break… Actually, to honor their moms…
I found this at Topic Viewer and thought it funny. See if you agree:
Things I Have Learned From Children
- A king-size waterbed hold enough water to fill a 2,000 square foot house four inches deep.
- If you spray hairspray on dust bunnies and roll over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
- A three-year-old’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
- If you hook a dog leash over the ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape.
- If you hook a dog leash over the ceiling fan and tie it to a paint can, it does spread paint on all four walls of a 20×20 room.
- You should not throw baseballs up while the ceiling fan is on.
- When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the baseball up a few times before you get a hit.
- A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
- The glass in windows (including double-paned windows) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
- When you hear the toilet flush along with the words “uh-oh,” it’s already too late.
- Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke (and lots of it).
- A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year-old man says they can only do it in the movies.
- Certain Lego blocks will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.
- Play-doh and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
- Super glue is forever.
- No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool, you still cannot walk on water.
- Pool filters do not like Jello.
- VCRs do not eject sandwiches, even though TV commercials show they do.
- Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
- Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
- You probably don’t want to know what that smell is.
- Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
- Plastic toys do not like ovens.
- The fire department in my town has a five minute response time.
- The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
- The spin cycle on the washing machine does make cats dizzy, however.
- Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
- 60% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.