The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (Bad Opening Sentences to Imaginary Novels)

Since there has been such an underwhelming response to an earlier post (One Sentence Romance Novels for Those Who Don’t Like to Read Romance Novels), I thought you might not want to read entries in the annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest – named for Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton, who penned the words (that Snoopy stole) “It was a dark and stormy night” to open his novel, Paul Clifford (1830).  The contest is for the best of the bad opening sentences to imaginary novels.

Here is this year’s winner:

Theirs was a New York love, a checkered taxi ride burning rubber, and like the city their passion was open 24/7, steam rising from their bodies like slick streets exhaling warm, moist, white breath through manhole covers stamped “Forged by DeLaney Bros., Piscataway, N.J.”

You can read more here (or not).

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3 responses to “The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (Bad Opening Sentences to Imaginary Novels)

  1. LOL. One of my competition favies was from years ago in the SF category. Cannot remember it exactly but was something like “Under a cheesy sky Zon examined his sister’s blork.”

    Although I believe I have experienced a cheesy sky, I’m not entirely sure I would want to see my sister’s blork under it.
    Funny stuff. Thanks.

  2. Pingback: Pages tagged "fiction"

  3. Another funny read! I had many favorites…but this was one that made me laugh out loud:

    Behind his pearly white smile lay a Bible black heart, not like the Psalms with its, “Make a joyful noise unto the Lord,” but like Revelations where God just smites people.

    Elaine Deans
    San Jose, CA

    It seems pretty descriptive.

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